• Wednesday, 27 September 2017

    HOW DO I KNOW ITS REAL LOVE.




       LOVE-to starry-eyed romantics it is a mysterious visitation that seizes you, a once-in-a-lifetime feeling of sheer ecstasy. Love, they believe, is strictly an affair of the heart, sometimes that can not be understood, just experienced. Love conquers all and lasts forever...
      So go the romantic cliches. And no doubt about it, falling in love can be uniquely beautiful experienced.
    But just what is real love?
    Love At First Sight?
      Movies, books, and television shows would have you believe that love at first sight lasts forever. Granted, physical attractiveness is usually what makes two people notice each other in the first place. As one young man puts it: "it is hard to 'see' a persons personality." But what is it that one "loves" when a relationship is but a few hours or days old? Is it not the image that person projects? Really, you don't know much about the persons thoughts, hope, fear, plans, habits, skills, or abilities. You've meet only the outer shell, not "the secret person of the heart". How enduring could that love be?

    Is the person you are in love
    with or just an image.

    Looks Are Deceiving.
      Furthermore, outward appearance can be deceiving.
     The proverbs say: "As a gold nose ring in the snout of a pig, so is a woman that is pretty but that is turning away from sensibleness." Nose ring were a popular adornment during bible times. They were exquisite, often made of solid gold. Naturally, such a ring would be the first piece of jewelry you would notice on a woman. falling in love is more than loving an image, images fades but real love lasts for ever.
    "The Most Deceitful Thing There Is"
        Some, however, feel that human hearts are infallible romantic judgement. ' just listen to your heart,' they argue. 'You will know when its real love!' Unfortunately, the facts contradicts this notion. A survey was taken in which 1,079 young people [age 18 to 24] reported having experienced an average of seven romantic involvements up to that time. Most admitted that their past romances were mere infatuation- a passing, fading emotion. Yet, these youths "invariably described their current experience as love"!                   Most, though, will likely one day view their current involvement as    they did their past ones-as mere infatuations.
      The tragedy is that thousands of couples every year marry under the illusion of being 'in love,' only to find shortly there after that they have seriously erred. Infatuation "lures unsuspecting men and women into poor marriage like lamb to the slaughter," says Ray Short in his book Sex, Love, or Infatuation.
    A physically attractive, but senseless, man
    or woman is 'like a gold ring in the snout
    of a pig'

    Is It Love or Infatuation?
    LOVE
    1.  An unselfish caring about the in interest of the other.
    2.  Romance often starts slowly, perhaps taking months or years.
    3.  You are attracted by the others total personality.
    4.  The effect on you is that it makes you a better person.
    5.  You view the other realistically, seeing his or her faults, yet loving that one anyway.
    6.  You have disagreements, but you find that you can talk them out and settle them.
    7.  You want to give and share with the other person.
    INFATUATION
    1.  Is selfish, restrictive. One thinks, 'what does this do for me?
    2.  Romance starts fast, perhaps taking hours or days.
    3.  You are deeply impressed or interested in the others physical appearance.['He has such dreamy eyes.' 'Shes got a great figure]
    4.  A destructive, disorganizing effects.
    5.  Is unrealistic. The other person seems perfect. You ignore any nagging doubt about serious personality flaws.
    6.  Arguments are frequent. Nothing really get settled. Many are "settled" with a kiss.
    7.  The emphasis is on taking or getting' especially in satisfying sexual urges.
        You can escape the dangers and infatuations other youths have suffered if you learn the difference between infatuation and love.
    LOVE VERSUS INFATUATION.
       "Infatuation is blind and it likes to stay that way. It doesn't like to look at reality," admits 24-year-old Calvin. A 16-year-old girl, Kenya, added, "When you're infatuated with a person, you think that everything they do is just perfect."
        Infatuation is counterfeit love. It is unrealistic and self-centered. Infatuated person have a tendency to say: 'I really feel important when am with him. I cant sleep. I cant believe how fantastic this is' or, 'She really makes me feel good.' Notice how many times either "I" or "Me" is used? A relationship based on selfishness is bound to fail!
    A person who constantly
    puts you down before others
    may well lack genuine love for you.
    KNOW IT NOW.
      When you are really in love, you care just as much for the other persons welfare and happiness as you do for your own. You do not let overpowering emotion destroy good judgement.